Life flashing before eyes moment

5 years ago, I used to shout. "Use your bloody indicator, you twat"! Now I yell the same words and realise I have not used mine. That's what Dubai does to you, you become a bad driver and don't even realise it.

Yesterday my husband and I were on the way to a brunch in the back of a cab and I had a latte in my hand. As we drove down a relatively quiet residential street, another cab driver came careening from a slip road almost smashing into us. Phil was on the side of possible impact, I was on the island side of the road with lamp post that could split my skull in two. In a split second, Phil braced for impact and tried to brake with his foot suddenly thinking he was driving, while I calmly assessed all possible crash angles and tried to hold my latte upright so it did not spill.

What we do in the moment when we could possibly lose our lives. We pump a fake brake and try and rescue our coffee. Priorities

Ballet flats and getting my exercise mojo back

I have recently been instructed by my doc to ensure I do 1 hour of low impact exercise every day of the week. "5 days a weeeeeeek?" I screech in my head. I am committed to using my cross trainer when I feel like it AKA once every two months. How am I ever going to commit to FIVE days a week!!!!

Luckily I found an awesome personal trainer two houses from me and she does deep stretching and toning sessions for next to nothing per hour. I was dubious at first, having done a lot of yoga and pilates with good instructors back when I was more committed to exercise because her rate was so low. However I have been pleasantly surprised - she is an ex ballerina and totally focussed on posture and quality of movement for every single exercise.

I feel my blood circulating, my core getting stronger and I can already do a few more reps each time I see her. Now I am considering putting the ballet flats that I bought to use and adding an extra ballet session to the mix. She just spent two years training a 38 year old who had never done ballet before right up to doing pointe.

Natalie Portman here I come. (But sorry I can't do 8 hours of training a day) I might take me two years to get to use pointe shoes. But I'll be patient.  Doc 3 days a week is going to have to do for now. I know you will understand.

Washing, cooking, cleaning and getting hammered.

My husband shouted at me because I have too many photos. Apparently 80 gigs of pics is overkill.
Basically he is saying I am too sentimental, which means he wants me to be like him and own about two family photos.

Of course I refuse, so defiantly I went and took all my old negatives to Kodak and had them processed and scanned. Now I have about 200 gigs of photos. Yay for me.

Trip down memory lane...during one of my "I'm done with production, the hours are too demanding" moments in 2003, I took a sabbatical and decided that doing care work in the UK would be a welcome break from castings and manic advertising deadlines. UHM  - did I do my research. No.
I arrived in Oxford to care for Laura and had a two day crash course.  During those 48 hours I  thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I was petrified I would drop her out of her sling while trying to bath her, or break her neck while trying to dress her or not strap her into her car correctly and kill her as I drove around those bloody roundabouts.  BUT I pushed through and managed and realised she was a tough cookie and not easy to kill. My days consisted of cooking, cleaning, weeing, pooing, bathing, dog-walking, more cooking, shopping, chatting, 6 turns at night and then repeat, repeat, repeat.

After 8 months I would just hear my name echo in my head anyway "Heatheeeeeeeer" as I slept-walked to her room to turn her again, and again and again .
After a long days work we would watch Eastenders and get hammered together and after bed time I would go and have a few fags with the garden gnomes and ponder on how little sleep I was going to get that night. I worked 11 days on, 2 days off. Tough going, but Laura was a rocking chick and I don't quite know how I survived on so little sleep with so much boozing! I was 23, that's why.
 But kudos to all the care workers out there...I could only do it for about 10 months and then went back to the evidently not so demanding production hours.

MY DAISY LIST

I think "pushing daisies" sounds much more fun than "kicking the bucket".

So here is my DAISY LIST* 

To have lived a healthy life
Take my husband to a country where he can see snow
Play the guitar properly
To never have a family fight that splits any of us apart
Act in a movie and do a good job at it
Record at least one album
Have the opportunity to see as many people as I am destined to see accept God in their lives
Write a book
Give 200 or more young adults a career or tertiary education opportunity
Work hard and make use of every opportunity available
Take as much time off to rest and reflect as needed
Change my mind if I feel like it
Listen 

*To be revisited and reviewed as often as I please

Rub a dub - little girl in a tub

I really really don't like being sick. Well who does I guess.

I've never had an ear infection in my life and got struck with one of those and tonsillitis on my visit in Durban.

It feel like I am underwater with severe pressure on my head and my ears are ringing constantly which has put me in the foulest mood ever.

I'm lying in bed feeling pretty sorry for myself and nothing I can do about the vicegrip around my head!

Luckily I am on the church property and there are about 15 kids who board here from The Youth Care Centre including this little munchkin Rahima who comes and visits me and cuddles.

What a cute pic of her taking a bath in a bucket in a shower. She is 2 and is so clever - she can name almost all the colours - including grey and just chats non stop all day.

At least I have some cuteness to make me feel better.

Project Ignite 2011 www.youthcarecentre.org

Bird Seed

It's Thursday night (the rest of the world's Friday night) and I'm in bed munching on Waitrose's wholesome goji, seed and berry mix thinking of my mom. She is such a hippy at heart - I miss her!

When we were young she used to be obsessed with ensuring we ate healthy food. We never ate any purity, formula or processed foods. All our first foods where organic "purity" such as mashed spinach, banana, butternut etc and it was all handmade by her(for all five of us I might add).

We then proceeded to wholewheat sandwiches for school with small portions of nuts and raisins in funky tins. I used to throw a strop because I wanted white ham and cheese sandwiches and a neon plastic lunch box, not a hippy tin with bird seed.

Now all I want to do is eat healthy foods - go figure. Thanks Mama xx

Snow is like love

This month I lose two friends.

Ok that's me being totally melodramatic. Two close friends are moving from Dubai back to their home countries!

When I was younger I moved to Cape Town at the drop of a hat, then I moved to London (twice) at the drop of another hat and then to Durban and then to Dubai. Now I am out of hats.

Originally I did this for adventure and then I started doing it to avoid winters (yes I'm a sun baby and cannot bear being cold, unless it's for a trip to see snow by choice).

I think snow is like love when you wake up and it's suddenly there and the world looks transformed. I like that part, but give me snow shoes and jackets and frozen toes..NO thank you!

The point is I got used to leaving people behind, but now it's not that easy anymore. Living in Dubai as an expat, means that your friends are bound to move at some stage..it is just part of the deal. But then I get sun all year round which is not that bad either.

So I'll just pretend they are away, for a while, visiting somewhere. YES, that's just it ......I'll be a grown up child and go into imaginary land.

Images thanks to this wonderful site

Blast from the past

I recently made contact with Pepe Marais after a few years of silence and we shared blogs

Gosh I don’t think I knew how to use a computer or even had a mobile when I started working for him at the Cape Town branch of Joe Public in 1999. And now we are both blogging!

I started as a receptionist and then a few months later got bumped to traffic manager when they called me in and said ”I was organized” and would I consider training to manage the workflow of the creatives. (This was all done while being a cocktail waitress to actually support having my own flat at 19 in Cape Town, which was virtually impossible on a start up salary with no work experience except for years of babysitting and working as a waitress in school!)

I realized why I loved working for him while reading the “scribbles from his mind”, my favourite – the one he wrote on people

Apart from that, generally all Pepe’s posts and the overall truthful insights about our fears and behavior changes we all face if we are committed to grow were great to read. To have someone openly share their humanity online - a businessman featured in May edition of Leadership magazine was humbling.

I just realized how lucky I have been to be surrounded by inspiring people in every place I have worked at (well almost!).

I hope I can be as honest and truthful to myself and those around me as he has been in his work and personal life.

Missing the Joe crew after a trip down memory lane! The pic was taken in 2000 when we went to Ratanga Junction on a team-building day.

Help me sell these GORGEOUS beaded heart key rings

Contact: info@youthcareentre.org

All proceeds go towards www.youthcarecentre.org

Dubai, South Africa or anywhere in the world :) I'm looking for bulk orders. Prices on request

CARE and the great impact it has

This week I experienced two moments which showed me how much it means to go the extra mile in everything you do. It shows you CARE.

Make what you do everyday MEAN something to you.

I took my jeep in to have the aircon refilled with gas and the service attendant told me afterwards my doors were really squeaky and he had oiled both of them.

Yes this squeak had been bugging me for months, but this gentleman cared enough to do it out of courtesy without me asking.

The second person is my hair dresser in one of the small Lebanese places I pop in for a wash and blowdry. Even after being on her feet for 12 hours, she still manages to make me feel as if I am her first customer of the day – she loves my hair and as I have tons of it, most cringe at the thought of spending 45 minutes tackling the mane!. Yet she loves spending time making it look beautiful and even when I want to rush out to end it the session – she stills says – “no serum…please sit down, not finished”

It’s just the love of those who even may not earn what they are worth in monetary value for the skills they do, but it’s the fact that they are doing it for love and every time it's done properly. Both of these individuals reminded me of the better person I can be to take care and pride in everything I do, no matter how small the task or person in involved.

LOVE

Taking a risk by sharing your life unites you - GWA student FEB 2011

Last week I facilitated an experimental pilot school video program.

This concept was a collaborative idea generated by Natasica Radice, Ernst van Der Poll, Maria Conceicao and myself and we approached FLIP Video Middle East with a skeleton of the idea and they agreed to sponsor the pilot.

Next we discussed running the program with GEMS World Academy during their week without walls community service program and so we had 15 scholars, 15 Flip Video cameras and an idea!

The idea was to teach the teens how to shoot, edit and upload a 3 minute video about their lives onto our test site, following a set agenda of points to cover: My family, my home, my school, my country, my hopes, dreams and my challenges. The aim was to mirror this project in a developing country and get the kids to gain insight into each other's lives using video as a platform. We aim to charge a fee and all proceeds go towards a cause in the developing community of the school that they engage with. Xische & Co jumped on board and offered to brand the project, which they are currently doing.

I learnt a lot this week. I was doubtful about what the kids in Dubai would get out of it. Did they want to know about kids in Malaysia, Durban of Bangladesh? Would they know what we already were trying to teach them and were they doing this out of choice or because it was the only 'free' community service program offered by GEMS. (Who took us on at a risk I might as we did not have a fully developed curriculum.)

All I can say is that day 5 of the 5 week program sealed all my doubts. Watching a screening of the final videos I flinched at times at the shaky footage, sometimes inaudible audio, but straight after that we went into a branding exercise held by Xische and this is where the kids rocked my world. They discussed at length the experiences they had over the week and I was blown away to hear how much insight they had into their lives during the course of the project.

Simone Weil, a French social activist says that learning is not important, but TO KNOW the meaning of what you learn is the secret.

Some of the kids said they started off feeling uneasy about sharing their lives with kids from developing countries who may not be as fortunate, but they realised that by sharing their lives and looking into someone else's life essentially made them the same. Just the act of risk-taking and sharing united them.

To have a child say, "my life and my point of view of my life was broadened by the very act of thinking about it and filming it" means these kids really started to grasp the concepts of seeing someone else's story and sharing their own.

That's community service! The start of developing a mind and heart that sees equality, unity and sharing.

Have a poke around our test site http://myshortvideo.ning.com/ and watch some of the videos and read their blogs!

The Maria Christina Foundation Scholarship Program

I feel very blessed to to have befriended Maria Conceicao (Emirates Women of the year 2009) and get involved in her scholarship program.

Maria is best known for setting up the Dhaka Project and has recently started the Maria Christina Foundation, which focuses on a variety of projects including the scholarship project for children from slum areas.

This program has placed 6 Bangladeshi children in Dubai schools over the past 5 months. You may have read about this in The National. Sheikh Nahyan has sponsored the 6 children's visas so that they can live and study in the UAE and Maria now has the great task ahead of her to get their school fees sponsored for the next 4 - 6 years.

I have met all the the kids recently and they say the best thing about being in Dubai is being able to go to school. That's very rare for a kid to say! They come from an area where child labour is the norm, so it's a great treat for them to live with their host families in Dubai and just pour their hearts into their schoolwork.

The children are raising funds for their education and will be running 3km for the Standard Chartered Dubai Marathon and Maria will also be walking 42km for the marathon on Friday 21 January 2011.

Sponsor Milon, Himel, Sujon, Taslin, Bilkis, Shewly (and Maria!) by contributing anything you feel you would like to give to the bank details below so that they can continue their education in Dubai!

Banking Details

Maria Conceicao
Account No : 2196368162
Swift Code BOMLAEAD
Bank : Mashreq
Bank PO BOX 36612
BLDG - AL HAWAI TOWER, SHK ZAYED ROAD, AL Q003, DUBAI

Thanks for the support and if you want to meet the kids or talk to Maria about how you can help - you can contact her via e-mail mariadaconceicao@hotmail.co.uk

Fighting the good fight

Sometimes having a relationship with God can be tricky.

I mean talking to a man in the sky is a bit odd - well at least according to Ricky Gervais.

Never the less, I try to listen when He does holler down at me - because it's usually for important matters. On 6 Dec I felt an urgent need to contact some drug treatment facilities in Durban to see if any of them would sponsor 5 - 10 teens and young adults in the drug awareness and outreach work done by The Youth Care Centre.

I was worried about one particular girl who was in a pretty bad way when I moved away from Durban in 2007 and I have not had any update about her since then. Of course I do not subscribe to coincidence and two weeks later a concerned family member of the 21 year old girl contacted me saying they had no where to turn to with her 6 year drug addiction, she had landed up in hospital after an assault and could I help.

We arranged for her to be admitted for heroin detox and to start a 12 month outpatient program at the ARCA recovery centre in Durban. Dr Prakash Naidoo, the owner, was incredibly helpful and has offered a massively reduced price on his treatment program for any of the youth in the community that need education or counseling. He helped me co-ordinate all of this while on holiday without a moment's hesitation. I can't express the gratitude I have towards those who genuinely want to help because we are all fighting the same fight.

Some people tell me money spent on rehab is a waste and there are better causes, I beg to differ, I have seen a few individual cases of people who were trapped in a vicious circle of addiction and with proper treatment, support and a process of stumbling and getting up again, they live relatively normal lives now. There is hope - there is ALWAYS hope.

Addiction is a disease and those who suffer from it should have access to medical help if needed. Private treatment in South Africa can cost anywhere between R10 000 to R40 000 per month, which is way more what most families in Wentworth could ever afford.

Good luck to the family in Durban - you guys are in good hands and I'm glad you get to experience a little hope with your daughter. No one can foretell the future, but as Dr Naidoo said " at least I can show them there is a light at the end of the tunnel".

If you wish to help support our drug outreach program, which will allow us to sponsor drug treatment/rehab to a certain number of teens and young adults, please contact me (heather@alchemyfilms.net) or you can make a paypal donation online.

I'm heading underwater

For those few randoms who do read my blog, you may have noted I am a bit of a scaredy cat. To top that off, I am also not the biggest fan of sports..... particularly water sports (Ok....except wet bikes and tanning of course).

I briefly touch on these phantom phobia's in Swamp Girl, so I do find it a bid odd that I am about to learn to dive.

The ONLY reason that I have even considered this - is because I finally allowed one of my favourite friends in the whole wide to talk me into doing it. (Ok... it did take a WHOLE year of convincing I might add, but who is counting).

I just completed my online PADI e-learning, which is the the starting point to getting my open water diving course done. About 14 hours of online theory which is a pain in the rear I might add for anyone who hates textbooks.

And now...in 48 hours, I will be starting my pool sessions and then if all goes well, I am off to Sipadan in Malaysia in Jan for a 6 day diving/volunteer holiday.

Now I must confess that I have already had near black-outs from worry while learning about what can go wrong underwater, but I know than soon I will be posting some underwater pics online, if I'm not eaten alive by any kreepy krawlies.

When does help actually help?

Today I spent some time in a park and I saw a well kept asian man with a big backpack shuffling through bins in the park looking for something to drink or eat. Earlier on I saw a drunk man busking on Santa Monica main road, playing his heart out to make some cash for his next drink.

My heart really goes out to anyone that is less fortunate than me and I know God teaches us to not judge, but for the life of me I don't feel it's right to give a drunk man money for his next drink, but I do feel I want to give a hungry man some food. I don't know how the hungry man ended up there, maybe he's a drug addict and maybe the food alleviated his hunger for a day, but made no lasting impact or perhaps he lost his job and really just needed a meal. It's hard to know if you are making someone's day a little easier or if you are perpetuating the spiral of destruction - because the Bible has two contrasting messages.

2 Thesselonians 3:10 says: For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.

Proverbs 31:19 says - Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

So the advice is if you don't work for food, you will go hungry and on the other hand it says to do all you can for the poor and needy. I guess God as great and wise as He is expects us to pray and use discernment when faced with which causes to give to. At the end of the day He also empowers us with talents and willpower to overcome all odds in life, so we can rise up from the worst situations. And that means He can do that for each homeless and even drunk man on the street!
So when does my help actually help?

A meal means nothing - I am talking about the bulk of the time you choose to spend on charitable causes or the financial contributions you make. Come on, let's be real...we all work and study hard to get where we are and I for one want to make sure that what I give back goes to a worthy cause and not into a black hole.

This all reminded me of a site a very special friend referred me to and I decided that these are the types of people I definitely want to help - Entrepreneurs who just need a bit of a financial headstart. You don't even donate money. YOU LOAN IT.

So I have a fire under my ass to start a lending team and help some people who REALLY need and also WANT help. And it can all be done from the comfort of my home on my laptop. Check out the KIVA site.

Kiva's mission is to connect people, through lending, for the sake of alleviating poverty.

Watch this video - it's ONLY 11 minutes long - why don't you make the watching part of your giving today!

PS - Mail me if you want to join my small lending team heathergracemaytham@gmail.com

What makes a kid brave?

I woke up in sunny Beverly Hills today and felt like being in the sun.....so I found out about a beach house that has a public pool and missioned to find it in Santa Monica. But after a 20 minute drive it was completely clouded over and chilly and I was really bummed. I drove around the beachfront for a bit and then found a Farmer's Market! What a splash of colour!

I watched these kids going for rides on shetland ponies. There were 3 year olds screaming to get off and larger kids looking seriously frightened and then there was this little girl in pink who was loving every moment. She refused to hold on and just giggled the whole way.

I wondered what parenting skills instill adventure and bravery in a child, while others grow up petrified of the unfamiliar.

The brave girl kicked butt.

Magic moments

I have a few things I can't live without - God, Truth, Love, Passion and learning about human potential.

For years I have been interested in people's behavior and trawled through various books, seminars and workshops to learn more about what puts us together. When I started drama classes about two years ago, I never realised that I would learn so much more than I could ever imagine about human life and our make up.
Acting is such an amazing fun process! Learning about beautiful techniques that help you remain true and present to the moment and to not interpret emotions with intellect, makes me feel a splendour towards life I can't describe. Don't get me wrong....sitting through a 5 hour scene study class watching other actors perform scenes and then be coached is exhausting, but I try to lap up every word they are given because it's such a fascinating process.

A truthful, magic moment, can only happen when you do not use logic to understand what is happening in the present with your emotions. Logic is the opposite of creativity. I am going to try and remember those words and to create magic moment to moment in my life and not live ahead of myself.

Don’t waste life making grand plans. Just jump - Masarat Daud

I have to interrupt my blogging about LA to introduce you to another amazingly inspirational person I have had the pleasure of crossing paths with. I briefly explain how I came about meeting her in the intro to another blog when I saw her talk at TEDx Dubai.

Masarat Daud's business card says she is a "Chief Actionista" and heads up the 8 day Acadamy. This initiative empowers children and adults from less fortunate areas in India through educational courses that span 8 days. She is truly a lady of action and also a prolific twitter addict - she always keeps me entertained with tweets such as:

Nobody in my village and community wanted to marry me because of two reasons: education and ambition.

It's not God that we lose faith in. It's humans. When we see the worst that humans are capable of, it shakes our core.

I am so small I can barely be seen. How can this great love be inside me? Look at ur eyes, they're small but they see enormous things.--Rumi

I asked her a few questions and I hope you find her answers as inspiring as I do. This women is one dynamite package. Recently married - I wish her all the best and her husband is one helluva lucky man!


What was the first good deed you did in your life?
Gosh, I can’t remember. I’ve been a softie since childhood and I can’t trace back! I don’t think it really matters to even go back and remember these deeds—they are done and gone. It is a continuous process, we have to constantly give back. I’m just giving a small payoff for the enormous generosity Life has blessed me with.

How long have you been involved with your initiatives?
I have been working on the 8-Day Academy since February 2009. It’s still in its infancy and after many different experiences, I’m still trying to build it. Many lessons learnt in this short year.

WHERE do you think your ideas come from for the charitable work you do?
It comes from goodness. My manifesto is to be a good person everyday, in such a way that my goodness inspires others to do good. I look at people, I listen to them and my work focus is: how can I give them practical, long-term solutions to positively affect their lives? That’s why I don’t call my work ‘charity’. I call it an investment. Your small gesture can lead to big returns!

How and when do you find that you come up with ideas for your initiatives?
In my case, it’s a little different. I gave up my job to focus on changing lives through education. Not everyone should follow my example because I escaped the corporate life before Life caught me (marriage, children, bills etc etc). My brain is constantly working—when I meet people, I try to see how I can bring their skills and experiences to my village people; when something inspires me, I wonder how I can bring this inspiration to the villages? If there’s an idea that clicks (usually it comes from researching communities, meeting people working on different projects, discovering a chronic problem that villagers face), I immediately think ‘How will the 8-Day Academy help in this?’ If it means to intervene besides the 8DA, I do that too. There are too many things to do, too many people to help and very little time.

What drives you to want to make a difference?
A sense of responsibility to the world. Beyond and above religion, is humanity. Or I’d even say that humanity is our biggest religion. When you look at things from that perspective, you realise that we are all the same. So it’s just unfair that there is such an imbalance in the world—one side of the world wastes resources while the other side scrambles and begs.

Do you feel guilty if you are not giving?
Yes, absolutely. It feels like you’re staying in a penthouse, without paying a penny!

How do you motivate yourself?
I love watching TED talks. I love connecting with inspiring people, who have faced many odds and changed many lives. I love reading about their initiatives. I look at my own 8DA graduates and see that with the little that I’ve taught them, how large a difference it has made to their lives. I am inspired by very random and regular people, in many different ways.

Do you get support from people and if not do you feel frustrated by people who don’ have the same vision as you?
I am very grateful for the support I have received from my friends and some family members. Largely, I’m still misunderstood but I don’t waste too much time on that. We can’t force others to see through our eyes. In my heart, I know that I am doing good work for a good reason and one day, they will all understand. This is how I feel about people around me. However, when I face resistance from the people whose lives I am trying to improve, it saddens me more than it frustrates me. But those moments are temporary. I’ve seen opinions change very fast!

Tell me about your parents and what type of people they are:
My parents! I am a mixture of my dad’s and mom’s spirit. My father is the quiet, intelligent diplomat who is very passionate about education. My mother is the fearless, kind-hearted, street-smart person. My parents are village people who came to UAE 26 years ago to earn a good life for us. It was a very difficult journey and UAE was a desert back then. My father came from a poor background and he used to study under the streetlights from borrowed books. I really respect them from the way they have grown and evolved without forgetting their roots.

Is there anything else you want to share?
Don’t waste life in making grand plans. Just jump. When you’ve jumped, you’ll realise that drowning isn’t an option and you HAVE to swim through. You cannot know in that one moment in time whether what you did was a bad or good decision. You will only know later in life. I left my job and many told me that it was a bad choice. But in this one year, if I wasted life and didn’t take the 8DA seriously, I would have agreed that leaving my job was a bad choice. But a year later, when I see so many success stories coming out of 8DA, I know that my decision was right! Money isn’t always the best way to judge your decisions.